Portal of "Dieu* de Briefcase"

* The French word 'Dieu' means 'God'. Used here solely for the sake of its resemblance to Cantonese.

Dilbertland!

 

Catbert the evil Human Resources Director lives for your misery
- CafeExpress Product: Catbert Journal

Rules are set to be broken; therefore, suggestions are made to be ignored
- Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook

 

Mr. F*k. Y**. Hole (何敷人), did you find your hair getting pointier?

 

SCHOOL WORK RELATING TO DILBERT

ECE 350 Presentation in University of Wisconsin - Madison (Word Script) (PowerPoint) (Unused Portion)

ECE 350 Meyer-Briggs Test

 

Systematic Buzz Phrase Projector Acronym Generator

 

INVITED DILBERT REVIEWS

Upon Ms. Ho's kind invitation, I wrote these commentary for the Library's new, celebrated collection of Dilbert Books in SPC 150th Anniversary Open Day.

If you haven't start reading Dilbert, read it now!!! Perfect for entertainment and vocabulary building. Learn lots of SAT/GRE words in laughter!

Download General Review, Clues for the Clueless, Dilbert Principle (Abridged Publisher's Review), Dilbert Future (Abridged Publisher's Review) in MSWord.

Download General Review, Clues for the Clueless, Dilbert Principle (Abridged Publisher's Review), Dilbert Future (Abridged Publisher's Review) in PDF.

 

CYNICISM/WEASEL


I've been thinking about this long time ago.

 

WORKING IN THE INDUSTRY


To my soon to be doctor friend, and perhaps myself if I go to the industry.


That's a career(s)talk in high school by Wally.


That happened to me when I was in college too. At the beginning of my sophomore year, I was taking 18 credits in 6 electrical engineering courses, which includes a graduate-only-level course. I also had two part-time jobs going on: tutoring a student signal processing for TRIO and fix computer and electronics in electronics shop in Psychology department.

 

 

REALITY

Dilbert is reality, but such general topic that I have no place to sort is put here.

 

BUSINESS STRATEGY / CONSUMER ABUSE


That's the first thing that comes to my mind when I see rebate system for the first time.


I don't lie! (Oxymoron)


Rebate again.

 

PRESENTATION/COMMUNICATION


It was my old self. If you need elegant-looking essay that conveys absolutely nothing, you've found the right person.

 

CORPORATE & BUSINESS CULTURE


Oops, I did it again. From "Dilbert the way of the weasel", this was classified as the 'Oops Weasel".

 

SECRETARY

 

RETALIATION/RANDOM EVIL/TARGETED EVIL/COWORKER ABUSE


I had fax to phone call sometime before. It's #!!%* annoying.


Intern abuse.

 

 

EMPLOYEE ABUSE


I assume the latter cheaper of "cheaper".


"I will 'trashure' your gift."

 

ACADEMIC DILBERT

Modern Algebra and Analysis: I will be writing a mathematical book on Dilbert soon in the distant future (Oxymoron).

 

ACTIVISTS

 

FEMINIST/DISCRIMINATION ADVOCACY


People who always think (s)he's being discriminated against are actually self-discriminating.

 

WORK AND CRIME ARE THE SAME, THEY DON'T PAY

 

GAME THEORY

 

ELECTRICAL ENGINEERING

 

EMPLOYEE STRATEGY


Never been caught doesn't mean he didn't commit any crime.


Wally is always inspirational!



Nice!

 

ENGINEERS/ENGINEERING


That's what I was thinking when I saw early days data acquisition (DAQ)'s interactive interface programs, or any scientific programs.


He's exactly right. I don't idle well.


Brilliant! The straight eye for the queer-looking guy!
Also a nice engineer stereotype!

 

ACRONYM ABUSE


AAAAA - American Association of Anti-Acronym Abuse

 

LOGIC, WISDOM AND PHILOSOPHY


Scott Adams is an ultimate cynic just like me. That's why I feel home.


That's the way I usually upset the low-intelligence portion of school teacher community.

 

WALLINESS


I'm an expert in abiding by the rules set by the bureaucracy, yet retaliating their stupidity by doing the last things they want to see.


I like to flip the polarity. e.g. good vs. bad, white vs. black, right vs. wrong. Most young teachers of Chinese Language hates my guts.

 

SALESPEOPLE


I can't be in sales.

 

LINGUISTICS


My favorite type of ambiguity abuse: double meaning - which I meant both.

 

ART OF INCHING (INDIRECT INSULTS)


That's actually an insult to Wally, not Dilbert.


Same idea as the onion news report "Parents smoking weed makes children think of it as uncool."

 

MANAGEMENT

 

ACCOUNTANTS


The goal of making the world a worse place to live fascinates me.

 

OUTSOURCING

 

INTERVIEW QUESTIONS


That's actually a really good candidate! Think outside the box!

 

INDIAN ENGINEERS

 

MYSELF


I haven't got that many degrees, but the description fits.

 

BRITISH

 

PIRACY


They think ALL people who downloaded their stuff will buy them if they can't download, right? NO! If they cannot afford it, they simply go and search for freeware that might be even better written. The only thing that can count as lost income is that other people make money out of it, everything else can be at most considered as lost potential. However, more people who are aware and familiar with it increase the potential if they recommend the software to the business, so that's a zero sum loss (might be even gain) for producers. Over-exaggerating the 'lost' potential is simply a trick (or strategy) for lawyers and those 'enforcement' people to create job for themselves and generate they own income by suing people with producers providing 'investment fund' for free.

 

ANTI-RELIGION STRIPS

I've been obsessed by aggressive religious groups and random religious individuals for long. It's my time for revenge here:

 

DILINKS (or D-Link)

呆伯特法則