Portal of "Dieu* de Briefcase"
* The French word 'Dieu' means 'God'. Used here solely for the sake of its resemblance to Cantonese.
A FREE NEWSPAPER IN UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN - MADISON
My Best Favorite:
Opinion - Executing SARS Spreaders In China
(it was so damn true!)
Funding (1, 2): Congress Accidentally Approved Arts Funding
Well, as an engineering and math major, I cannot encourage people to divert my potential source of money to those freaks who have been playing Shakespeare's shit endlessly for centuries.
Museum: Museum-Appreciation Tip
Why are teachers stuffing shit into kids mind saying museums are fun? Because museums are like classics: people like praising them, but not reading them.
Shakespeare Was, Like, The Ultimate Rapper
North Korea (1, 2): North Korea Wondering What It Has To Do To Attract U.S. Military Attention
Yes, the evil gets bored.
North Korea Nuclear Proposal
Opinion - Executing SARS Spreaders In China
People Always Hate Politicians Until They Need One
Toy-Buying Tips For Parents
Teen Mortified After Winning Academic-Achievement Award
ETHICS / BRAINWASHING / CHARITY
Tourism in Tsunami's Wake
(Historical ONION) 'Congress Approved Orbiting Homeless Incinerator'
What Do You Think? (Schiavo's Right to Die)
New 'Anti-Abortion Pill' Kills Mother, Leaves Fetus Alive
Thousands Feared Born In Nigerian Population Explosion
Girls Gone Wild Released Back Into Civilization
ETHNIC STUDIES / DIVERSITY EDUCATION / GENDER STUDIES
IBM Emancipates 8000 Wage Slaves (1, 2)
Strip Club Makes Commitment To Hire More Minorities (Here)
Can I Use Feminism To My Advantage? (Here)
(Historical ONION) 'I Have a Dream That One Day Little Black Children Will Beat the Living Crap out of Little White Children'
Use Of 'N-Word' May End Porn Star's Career
Familybeat (1, 2): Kids Excited. Mom Learning To Swear
Abstinence will retaliate one day.
Kids Grow The Fuck Up So Fast These Days
Death Of Parents Boosts Area Woman's Self-Esteem
Grammar: Someday, I Will Copyedit The Great American Novel
I Can Write 600 Words About Anything The Onion - America's Finest News Source
Area Man Knows All The Shortcut Keys: Some of my friends complained that I use shortcut keys too often so they can't learn when I show them how to do things.
Project Manager Leave Suicide PowerPoint Presentation
Cost Of Living Now Outweighs Benefits
Vehement Anti-Cell-Phone Guy Finally Caves
U.S. Blowjobless Rate At All-Time High
Almighty Antitrust (1, 2, 3): Judge Orders God To Break Up Into Smaller Deities
Give voice to people who aren't happy with Christian dominance.
Abortion : I Want The Pictures Of My Partial Birth Abortion Back
I am support legal abortion for the following reason: If you consider abortion as taking away the rights of a child to live, then who gives rights to the child who DON'T WANT TO BE BORN? Shut up, you damn religious people. Don't apply your standards to people who haven't picked up your faith!
Community Voices: Teen Abstinence Rally Totally Rocked
Jesus 'Really Dreading' This Next Birthday (Here)
Cocky Pope-Hopeful Ready To Make Some Changes Around Vatican
Personal Relationship With God Also Public Relationship With God
Heaven Less Opulent Than Vatican, Reports Disappointed Pope
Christ 'Categorically Denies' Speaking To Lutheran-College Administrator
Vatican Rescinds 'Blessed' Status Of World's Meek
Are Your Cats Old Enough To Learn About Jesus
Poverty-Stricken Africans Receive Desperately Needed Bibles
NSF (1, 2): National Science Foundation, 'Science is Hard'
Yes, quantum mechanics are freaking Hard. Professor Dan Botez (UW-Madison), 'No one really know quantum mechanics, but people just use it'
(Historical ONION) Moonwalk: HOLY SHIT! MAN WALKS ON FUCKING MOON
World's Top Scientists Ponder: What If The Whole Universe Is, Like, One Huge Atom?
Stanford ... definitely a school of greed, but at least it's not a nerd school.
Nobody ever understands me, by Fermat's Last Theorem
Vatican Tightens Nocturnal Emissions Standards
'Tony's Law' Would Require Marijuana Users To Inform Interested Neighbors
Thank God The Year Of The Monkey Is Over
Getting A New Place Sucks!
Area Dog Will Never Live Up To Dog On Purina Bag
Suicide Bomber Killed En Route By Car Bomb
Nation's Experts Give Up
Local Teen Slated to Masturbate Furiously
Do Waiters Always Have To Swear So Much?
New Methods of Capital Punishment
Chinese Factory Worker Can't Believe The Shit He Makes For Americans
Mischievous Raccoon Wreaks Havoc On International Space Station
Fighting Chinese Piracy
Links to special editions
Special Edition: Travel
What Google's going to do next