Portal of "Dieu* de Briefcase"

* The French word 'Dieu' means 'God'. Used here solely for the sake of its resemblance to Cantonese.

Selected Stuff

HERE IS A BUNCH OF STUFF THAT I FIND INTERESTING

 


Was that intentional?

 

道德的起源 (Simplified Chinese, UTF Encoding)

Cantonese Children Wordplay: [Puritian Aware!] a bit dirty. (HKSCS Encoding)

SAVED WEBSITES

「蘋果日報」尊師重道觀念轉淡 - 七成老師稱權力下降: 古時候的學生都係拜師入門。既然係學生有求於先生,當然要講尊 師重道。但今時今日先生係由學校派下,學生根本無選擇。對優秀的先生[1],學生理當加以珍惜敬重。那麼如果獲派的老師是猶如董建華一樣的土共呢? 難道我們要把那些垃圾當作良師一樣地專重嗎? 這樣對良師公平嗎? 天下間總是有人搞偶像崇拜,為己私利,試圖把大眾的腦袋洗空,重新灌漿。被灌了屎的人如病毒一樣去洗其他人的腦, 一代傳一代, 演變成中國「偉大」的道德思想。

[1]: 我自小習慣以「先生」稱呼教書的人。每次聽見「老師」一詞,我都起雞皮。

[BBC UK News] Foul play in Goa goal frenzy: Soccer game with results 61:1. I love rampancy!

 

Ig Nobel Prize

The Genuine 1994 Ig Nobel Prizewinners

BIOLOGY W. Brian Sweeney, Brian Krafte-Jacobs, Jeffrey
W.  Britton, and Wayne Hansen, for their breakthrough
study, "The Constipated Serviceman: Prevalence Among
Deployed US Troops
," and especially for their numerical
analysis of bowel movement frequency.  [The study was
published in "Military Medicine," vol.  158, August,
1993, pages 346-348.]

PSYCHOLOGY Lee Kuan Yew, former Prime Minister of
Singapore, practitioner of the psychology of negative
reinforcement, for his thirty-year study of the effects
of punishing three million citizens of Singapore
whenever they spat, chewed gum, or fed pigeons
.

MATHEMATICIANS The Southern Baptist Church of Alabama,
mathematical measurers of morality, for their
county-by-county estimate of how many Alabama citizens
will go to Hell if they don't repent
.

Sample Issue of AIR: Thanks to this issue, I know there's a convicted (for writing computer worm) felon teaching in MIT. I appreciate MIT more once I know this.

HotAIR - Postal Experiments

HotAIR - NOBEL THOUGHTS -- Douglas Osheroff

HotAIR - The Effect of Television on Sexual Behavior

HotAIR - The Third Sex

HotAIR - The Second-Hand Effects of Bitching

Ask Symmetra, Vol. 3 Iss. 6

Chemists - HotAIR - Synchronized Pipetting

Physicist - HotAIR - The Double-Slit Garage Experiment

Physicist - Electron Band Structure In Germanium, My Ass (Saved)

 

Let's be lazy (... if you want to be in management)

Career Times (LU).gif (378033 bytes)Career Times (RU).gif (398725 bytes)
Career Times (LD).gif (482697 bytes)
Career Times (RD).gif (618090 bytes)

Career Times (from HK Economic Times) no.113 (30/4-6/5)

 

Radio

光明頂 - 欣宜扮白雪公主接二百多宗投訴 (1, 2)

 

Parody Songs

屋村住大 <<勁歌金曲>>改編 WMA Lyrics

用這首歌去告白-成功率100%

 

 

SAVED Newsgroup Posts

要CD 孫兒「燒給你」 爺爺以為咒他死

你有咩想要, 等今晚我訓左話過我知, 我燒比你啦
=你有咩"software"想要, 等今晚我訓左"offline"話過我知, 我燒"cd"比你啦

聖鬥士星矢的惡趣

High-Tech Cheating.nws

金枝慾孽續集.nws

Programming in different job positions.nws

 

 

Literature/Linguistics

我的D槽(低潮) - Please read in Mandarin (Taiwanese): It's a very good composition and I agree with the teacher's comments.

Shakespeare's Insults : Educating Your Wit

A Dictionary of Shakespeare's Sexual Puns and Their Significance (Amazon) (HKPL)

Modern Chinese Literature

Birthday Blessings: Fuck You Don't High

I don't know which cartoon it is, but I'm amazed that Japanese also know this kind of Cantonese idiom.

Majong in English (.nws)

 

Professions I considered

工程師律師死後到那裡去?

最古老的行業

三個人在爭論一個問題:什麼是世界上最古老的行業?
外科醫師說:「聖經上曾提到,夏娃是亞當身上的一根肋骨所造成的,所以,我這一行可算是最古老的行業。」
工程師說:「不對,開天闢地時,地球上曾有過六天的大混亂,重建的工作就得靠我們了。」
政治家說:「你們有沒有想過,這場大混亂是誰造成的?」

 

Golden Quotes

Money is not everything. There’s Mastercard & Visa.
One should love animals. They are so tasty.
Save water. Shower with your girlfriend.
Love the neighbor. But don’t get caught.
Behind every successful man, there is a man. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise.
Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.
Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children.
There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.
“Hard work never killed anybody.“ But why take the risk?
“Work fascinates me.“ I can look at it for hours!
God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends.
A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view.
The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn.

 

Cartoon Characters

Horny Barbie (Saved)

Elmo gets Fucked

Hello Kitty & KeroKeroKeropi

Snoopy Lego

Barbie Rough Sex

Volcott from Galaxy Angel (Hope the executives in HK can learn from this)

GARFIELD

Garfield's Author, Jim Davis' short bio. Note David Letterman!

加菲語錄

 

CELEBRITIES

容祖兒FANS勿進! (1, 2: 容祖兒 H2O vs 容早移:エッチ too old)

黃一飛 (1, 2)

八兩金

草剪岡 女子十二樂坊 (注意:極度嘔心)

SMAP X'mas Special... their attitude is funny

家有恐龍 涼勁奇

Teletubbies (注意:極度嘔心)

男人模仿松浦亜弥 (注意:有點嘔心)

SMAPxSMAP Crazy in Love, [Making of the video] (注意:極度嘔心)

Jay Chow need some training in articulation

 

HORIZONS (放眼世界) (Update from time to time)

 

ECONOMICS

Mankiw's Ten Principles of Economics, Translated

張五常談經濟

 

ADVERTISEMENT

What is he doing?

Use a condom!

Look at that bitch! Its face was so horny!

Hookers

Colonge

包二奶

 

Depends on what kind of mind you have:

Doraemon

Doraemon again

CCS

 

RACIAL DISCRIMINATION

Canadian

 

EDUCATION

Boston Public's Sound Clip (with Lyrics)

Secondary School Student Textbook Scribble (in Japanese)

Monkey Steals The Peach

 

有點同情(呂秀蓮) - 李純恩

肥西 老母 雞

Winnie the Pimp

完全自殺手冊 (一)

杜汶澤 都串欣宜

Nintendo Parody Show

Magician as old man

Cheap imitation of Nintendo DS The thing I like the most is his last comment, "I give them a 8 out of 10 because I'm terribly afraid of their government".

selstuff/amazing racist.wmv

 

Famous Sexy Quotes ...

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner,
you'd better have a good hand." Woody Allen

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
Rodney Dangerfield

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual
arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the
Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
Lynn Lavner

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." Camille Paglia

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation. The other eight are
unimportant."
George Burns

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."
Sharon Stone

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men.
Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps." Tiger Woods

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
Jack Nicholson

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives,
but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." Barbara
Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara had a sense
of humor)

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's
genitals through his wallet." Robin Williams

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable
undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other
women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men
are just grateful." Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are
having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe
swelling. So what's the problem?" Dustin Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I
know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked'." Jerry
Seinfeld

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only
enough blood to run one at a time." Robin Williams

" It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom."
Joan Rivers

" Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences
money can buy." Steve Martin

" You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older.
Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman.
Stuff you pay good money for in later life." Elmo Phillips

" Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same." Oscar Wilde

" It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."
George Burns